January 2009
The Last Couple Days;
Seem unreal.
But then I see the proof and realize it wasn’t just in my head.
Even though I wish it was.
Well I’m leaving tomorrow once again.
It’s supposed to be clear skys in California.
I can’t wait to get out of Tucson for good.
I Think I've Hit a Point I Can't Get Away From.
I’m sick. I’m tired. I’m distressed.
I contemplated weather or not I should just let myself die.
Because as of right now I’m already dead as I’m alive.
My sub concsious has eaten away at my soul
And killed every sensation and emotion.
Now I’m left here with nothing to find.
I’m a blank canvas,
I'm cute;
Cute isn’t Pretty
Pretty isn’t Hot
Hot isn’t Beautiful
And Beautiful isn’t Gorgeous
Fuck This. I’m not talking anymore.
These Are My Conclusions of the Day,
1. I am not boy savve what so ever,
But at least I can draw dinosuars.
2. I don’t see or talk to half the people I’m friends with,
But at least I have friends.
3. I have become a fanatic blogger,
But at least it gives me something to do.
4. I have massive spider bites on my back,
But maybe I’ll turn into the female version of spiderman….
.
“People who know me know I’m strong, but I’m vulnerable.”
– Catherine Deneuve
My Brain just Hit the Floor
I am convinced I’m insane.
I don’t know how I function anymore.
Kate's Flirting Guide,
To Michael;
topic; boys
Here is the BREAKDOWN. As far as boys go,there are really only two types, which break off into other typres, as seen on my chart (or picture below). The main types are musician and sports. They don’t actually have to play sports or an insturment. It’s just a type of guy
Enjoy
<3 Kate
Action and Meaning.
- Cute = Just cute.
- Hot = Nice...
I'm Hopeless.
I don’t pick up hints.
I can’t tell if they’re interested.
I don’t know how to act interested.
I don’t talk much.
I don’t flirt.
I just don’t know.
Girls Like You Make Me Throw Up.
Lies don’t make you cool.
Complaining about your life doesn’t make people like you.
Getting sympathy from others doesn’t mean you’re any worse off than the rest of us.
Burning bridges doesn’t give you the right to talk shit.
And most importantly…. None of the above will ever make you happy.
Reasons to Stay Home on a Saturday Night
1. To post a ridiculous list of things on tumblr.
2. To get caught up on my home work.
3. Because my plans for tonight got canceled and moved to Monday.
4. Formal is tonight
5. I didn’t want to spend money on a ticket to formal.
6. To be a responsible young adult.
7. Because I have camp in the morning.
8. To consume myself with pointless thoughts.
9. To avoid an awkward boy named...
Facts of My Day
Fact 1: A girl named Kati is jealous of me for no true reason.
Fact 2: This same girl gives me dirty looks when I walk by.
Fact 3: Apparently her face just looks like she has smelt something bad.
Fact 4: I only “talk” to boys from CDO
Fact 5: My best friend is the same pant size as me.
Fact 6: This best friend is a boy and just broke up with Kati.
Fact 7: I think I’m going...
“What happens tomorrow, will happen today, and what happened today will soon...”
– -Michael
List of a List of a List
I realized some things today.
1. I make lists of things in my head a lot.
2. I lower my standards down, because I don’t think I can do better.
3. I’m kind of a whore.
4. I have no clue what I’m doing.
5. I want to make art
Sincerly, I am. Breathing you.
It doesn’t make sense.
But what ever does these days
When thoughts are only a long list of words strung together
And taught to those who don’t know any better,
Than to open there minds, and realize what everyone knows,
Sad Truths.
1. I try to be better than some people.
2. I’m not sure what feelings really are.
3. I think looks DO matter.
4. I cry alot more than anyone knows.
5. I like the idea of a relationship, but hate actually dating someone.
6. Phone calls make me nervous.
7. I laugh when I’m really mad, or just don’t know what else to do.
8. I’m oblivious to almost everything.
9....
Me: I don't want to talk.
Him: You're being a bitch.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry.
Him: I don't know why you're being such a bitch.
Me: I'm a bitch.... Okay bye.
Him: You piss me off so much, I'm never talking to you again.
Me: That's fine, leave me alone please.
.... End of friendship.
speachless with words to bear.
There is everything. There is nothing.
There is me. There is you
There is him and there is her.
But there is no us.There is no them.
There is no empty. There is no full
Just a spiraling downward fall.
Without self reassurance or a relying comfort.
No peace. No soul. No insperation.
Only thoughts.
If I jumped,
Would anyone truely miss me?
I’d like to think they would.
Maybe for a moment.
“It is not length of life, but depth of life.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
New Years
This new year I cannot think of any resolution that I would actually follow through with. However the more I think of the past year the more I realized that this new year will be just like the last. As the ball drops on new years, and people are cheering and counting down for the new year to come nothing truly happens. The expectations of staying up all night and having a good time is so high and...
